About ten years ago I heard a nearly inaudible whisper from within…I decided to listen to it and an inner journey of reconnecting with myself started.
Since that day I have been committed to reconnect to my body and TO LET MY INNATE WISDOM GUIDE ME through life
I had been far down the opposite road so I went all in!
However in some way I kind of catagorized this process of removing my masks, of reconnecting with myself, as “spirituality”. And even though it was always with me, in some way I separated it from some parts of my life.
So being in my body, connected to myself, was something I really aimed for when:
I held yoga classes
I hosted belly2belly events
Shared on social media
Created for my company
Set that as an intention with another person
Or related with someone that I knew was into authentic relating themselves
Guided someone during a Feminine Embodiment session
or was guided in a session by someone else
In a lot of other areas of my life, even though I longed to, I did not stay present within my body. Well sometimes maybe, but that was just for a limited amount of time until the autopilot kicked in again.
It was almost as if I divided things into “spirituality” (or embodiment) vs. “society”. Where I knew “spirituality” and embodiment were welcome I explored relating from a more self-connected place. But in other areas of life my the disconnective-state kept running the show…
About six months ago, this became more apparent to me than ever before and I decided to explore being as self-connected and authentic as possible in ALL AREAS OF MY LIFE. (I had decided that before but had held back because of separating things the way I described above)
Because what I discovered was that even if I don’t necessarily strive for being completely transperant and vulnerable with everyone I meet. I mean that mask can be useful at times. HOWEVER it’s not just that I consciously put on a mask for OTHERS. That mask kind of takes over and I completely disconnect FROM MYSELF and from my body in those situations. (Another way to describe it is: DISSOCIATION)
It’s the way I have lived most of my life, disconnected from myself, as if being outside of my body. (This used to feel normal to me and I have come a long way to even recognize when it happens) It’s the way I have been committed to move away from for the past ten years.
The way I am now ready BREAK FREE from, no matter how scary, no matter the consequences. No wait! Ahhh, that felt too scary Instead of BREAKING free from this habit I’ll do a gentle and stable manoeuvre towards holding more space for it, using it as a portal into my body and into navegating all parts of life from an as self-connected state as possible
And as a way to support that process, even if it’s anything but linear or neatly ordered, I wanna share about it.
I wanna be mindful as I do, not to share from a desire to find outside validation or evidence and proof that I am enough. I wanna remember that I am actually not sharing for others to hear me but for myself to hear myself better and for it to be a powerful mirror back of my wounded parts and the lessons that I am still learning.
For sharing to keep being one of my strongest practices of allowing my truest self to come through.